He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman.Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement!That's when I thought -Hang on just a minute!I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.I shouted - "Where you off to Charlie?"He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb."Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said,"That's gonna be a bit awkward init?" Not really." he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting ... so, at least I got home OK.The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a home video last night and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens. There was no choice but to use the vibrator right there in front of all these leering people!Luckily, the dope had the blessed effect of making everything seem a little unreal. Jill rationalized the entire thing by pretending she were living through the most frightening nightmare of her life, and this made it possible for her to turn on the penis-shaped instrument that the manager had placed in her shaking hands. It came to life with a loud purring sound, its quivering motion giving her an unexpected feeling of confidence.I'll do like Mr. Jensen said--it's the only way I can go through with this, Jill decided. I'll just try to believe that all these people aren't here at all that I'm alone at home. Closing her green eyes, the half-naked young redhead leaned back on the big round bed and lifted the plastic dildo to her full breasts.It was actually not nearly as difficult as she'd expected it to be. So long as she kept her eyes closed, the quivering movements of the stimulating.
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